The Feminist and the Cowboy by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez – a Review

The Feminist and the Cowboy by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez.  Valdes-Rodriguez is an author (The Dirty Girls Social Club), who decided to write a true story about her own life, as a well known feminist, & strong liberal, and her discoveries as she takes a long look at her own life, as well as meeting a handsome conservative Cowboy. 

Alisa is in her 40’s, she is divorced; has a young son; is bitter & unhappy, and finds herself in a rut.  She decides to go to Match.com and look for someone to make her happy.  She sees the same type of liberal men, similar to her ex-husband.  After a few dates, she finds herself bored, and decides to meet this conservative Cowboy, who expresses his desire to meet her.  At first she refuses, as he is so far from her type.  But as she studies his handsome looks, she finds herself attracted, as she notes “this man’s unusual hotness held my attention longer then it should”   She accepts to meet him over dinner.

Thus begins a relationship that is hot and cold in many ways.  Early on I really enjoyed Valdes-Rodriguez sense of humor, as she talks about herself, jokes with her friends about the sex she ends up having with the Cowboy (but no details to protect the real life cowboy).  It was a nice change into her life, her attempt to find something better, her meeting the hot flirty Cowboy, but the problems they face as they decide to spend more time together becomes very disrupting.

Alisa was raised in a liberal household, where her mother taught her to be a strong feminist, and her father professed the same, but behind the scenes he ruled the roost, as the dominant of his household.  The mother was allowed to help him, but in public he would never acknowledge her.  Alisa’s mother left home, leaving her with her father, whom she became somewhat alike, self sufficient, easy to anger, and bitter towards people at times.  As we watch Alisa with the Cowboy, at first she is enjoying the attention, but then she sees his alpha male ways, finds her self becoming angry and mad at him often. 

The key here is I can understand her getting mad, when he insists to do things his way.  Though in reality, he is acting like the man, wanting to open the door for her all the time, refusing to allow her to drive, when she is with him.  He is the dominant man, and she had to accept this.   Alisa finds it difficult, as she is used to being her own woman, and a tough one.  But she is falling in love with the cowboy, and loves the attention he shows her, always protecting her, even if it’s against every grain she was taught all of her life.

They begin to fight, and he chases her away a few times.  Alisa finds herself falling apart, and giving in to him, so she would not lose him.  Some of her out of control actions, make you understand why he did that.  Alisa finally goes to a therapist to control her anger management, and slowly very slowly begins to open up and change her outlook. 

She begins to see that all he wants was to cherish her, even if it has to be his way.  Despite her wanting to get mad, she tries to control her anger and finds herself liking the attention. 

It is a good story, interesting, with two different types of people and how they deal with one another. Watching how Alisa changes, comes to terms with her old life, and the Cowboy does help her and her family look at themselves and they do become happy. 

The only thing I will say, is though I like that she would find happiness, and the Cowboy would be good for her, too many times he came across as arrogant, controlling, unrelenting on doing things his way, even not trustworthy.  Even the scene with her dog turned me off, but she saw later, that he was trying to train the dog what not to do, in order for the dog not to get hurt.  As much as the Cowboy’s intention was not to hurt her, or even rule her; he did come across as domineering at times.  I also thought some of the book was a bit repetitive, a little too long.  But all in all, I would recommend anyone to read this.  It really was a good story, and certainly different then anything I have read.  I admire Valdes-Rodgriquez for writing a story about how she has changed her feminist ideals and her love for the Cowboy.

Reviewed by Barb

Copy provided by Publisher