I Bite She Sucks by Penelope Bloom-Review tour

I Bite She Sucks by Penelope Bloom-Review tour

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I threw a paper airplane love note from my window.
First mistake.
I aimed it at a gorgeous stranger and put my address on it.
Second mistake.
Yep. You guessed it. I missed and hit a werewolf instead.
Best thing that ever happened to me?

Next thing I knew, a large angrily attractive werewolf man was trying to get in my apartment. I introduced him to my baseball bat and figured that was the end of things.

Or not.

Because my well-meaning sister became a vampire to cure my immune disorder. Long story. In the process, she got a deadly team of fang bangers to hunt us for breaking their rules. Longer story. A+ for good intentions and a D- for execution, if you ask me.

Re-enter Mr. Grumpy and Growly werewolf. He’s going to be my bodyguard slash kidnapper, whether I like it or not. Apparently, he’s the only thing standing between me and certain death. Swoon, right?

Of course he hates all things vampire. A.K.A. he will take me from undead to dead-dead if he figures out what I’m becoming.

Thankfully, he has completely underestimated my ability to woo him with my adorable innocence, cheery disposition, and extreme powers of modesty.

As long as the feelings stay one-sided, I’ll be fine. Because giving your heart to a guy who is probably going to try to murder you is a recipe for disaster. And come on. When was the last time I made a catastrophic, life-threatening mistake?

••••••••••

REVIEW:I must have laughed through half of that book. The wit was dry and the retorts came back thick and fast.

Penelope Bloom has such a way with words. This is my first book by this author, but if they are all this funny, then I can see her books popping onto my kindle pretty soon.

Sylvie has an immune deficiency, that makes her susceptible to any germ, so she stays indoors as much as she can, reading books, dreaming of a big love affair and having interesting conversations with her cat (with a fabulous attitude and name)

Mr. Grumpy and Growly Aka Riggs is a lone werewolf, grumpy and surly, but always with food in his hand. He spots trouble circling an apartment and goes to investigate, he gets more than he bargains for….. These two meet after a misunderstanding involving a love note (it’s a funny moment and I don’t want to spoil it) and a baseball bat!

Riggs is then keeping an eye on the girl as she smells like a she’s been near a vampire recently, well that’s his excuse and he’s sticking to it!! He keeps an eye out and is rewarded when a vamp enters her apartment building….. Riggs hates vampires (we find out why) and won’t tolerate anyone that associates with them. But rescuing Sylvie and her sister (and a half dead vampire!) seems like a good idea at the time. Getting the pack to agree to letting them stay that’s going to prove interesting.

The cast of supporting characters in this book were truly amazing.

Maisey (Sylvie’s sister) who becomes a vampire in the hopes of saving her sister, she’s so funny and compassionate. Riggs friend Felix is a good friend and is usually around to cause Riggs a headache. Then the coven of vampires which aren’t too keen on members biting humans without permission, so the sisters have been warned to leave the area or face being killed!

The werewolf pack don’t like vamps, they will take them out if possible! But there is a vampire splinter group, they want to do away with the coven, and lead a better life. Not Riggs’s problem, he doesn’t care if both groups of vampires kill each other! But when Sylvie attracts the wrong attention, he’s going to have to step in and protect her! And take her back to the pack!

It’s then a non stop ride. Internal dialogues, snarky comments thrown at one another and situations you’ll either laugh at or worry that Sylvie will meet an untimely end! Really well written and completely different from the usual vampire/shifter stories I usually read.

If you want a laugh out loud read, then pick this one up. But be prepared to be looked at strangely (I made the mistake of reading it in the park!) My sniggers got a fair bit of attention ?

 

Copy supplied for review

? Reviewed by Julie B.

I’m a USA Today Bestselling Author and have written nearly a dozen top 50 amazon bestsellers, including four books that have hit the top 10! Despite all that, I’m still a nervous wreck before I release every new book and I still feel like I have so much more to learn about writing and publishing than I can even wrap my head around. 

I’m just beyond honored and humbled that so many readers have embraced me and found enjoyment in my words, because I can’t think of any better opportunity than this. 

When I’m not writing and stressing about what I’m going to write, I’m trying to wrangle my two little girls who are 2 and a half and 1 and a half. When I’m not wrangling them, I’m trying to keep my husband in line. 

Writing and helping run the family aren’t easy, but I’d never trade it for anything!

Connect with Penelope Bloom:

Website: https://www.penelope-bloom.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeBloomRomance
Amazon Author Page: https://amzn.to/3x321jR
Goodreads: https://bit.ly/32ifAh2
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bloompenelope/

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ANYONE BUT NICK (Anyone But …#3) by Penelope Bloom-a review

ANYONE BUT NICK (Anyone But …#3) by Penelope Bloom-a review

Amazon.com / Amazon.ca / Amazon.uk / Amazon.au / B&N (paper) / Chapters Indigo (paper) /

ABOUT THE BOOK: Release Date January 21, 2020

Seven years ago, I swore I’d never date Nick King. Ever.
Now I’m supposed to work under him—and no, despite the way he glares like he wants to strip me bare, I mean he’ll be my boss. But what better way to prove I’m really over him, right?
I was a nerdy overachiever in high school, and Nick was my hopeless crush. I even laminated a note he passed to me; granted, I had a thing for laminators, but that’s beside the point.
Now, my only shot at getting my life back on track is to crawl to him on my knees and pray I nail the interview. Maybe I should pray that’s the only thing that gets nailed in his office—especially since he looks like he wants to devour me.
Nick broke my heart once. But hey, I’m still pretty handy with a laminator. Maybe I could run my heart through one before I take this job.

••••••••••••

REVIEW: ANYONE BUT NICK is the third and final instalment in Penelope Bloom’s contemporary, adult ANYONE BUT… romance series focusing on the King brothers: twins Rich and Cade, and younger brother Nick. This is billionaire businessman Nick King, and Miranda Collins’ story line. ANYONE BUT NICK can be read as a stand alone without any difficulty. Any important information from the previous instalments is revealed where necessary.

SOME BACKGROUND: Seven years earlier high school friends Miranda, Kira and Iris made a promise to never date the King brothers in response to heartbreak, secret and lies that spiralled out of control. Fast forward to present day wherein the King brothers have returned to their hometown of West Valley, North Carolina in an effort to upstart a new division in their billion dollar high tech industry.

Told from dual first person perspectives (Nick and Miranda) ANYONE BUT NICK follows the enemies to friends relationship between billionaire businessman Nick King, and Miranda Collins. In high school, Miranda Collins had been secretly in love with Nick King but our hero mistakenly thought that an anonymous poem written by Miranda was written by her friend Kira, and made a play for someone else. Fast forward to present day wherein Miranda is at a crossroads in both her personal and professional life finds herself the new vice-president of the King brother’s latest business acquisition. Working for Nick King means up close and personal with the man that destroyed her heart, a man who had been secretly in love with our heroine, in return. What ensues is the tempestuous but building relationship and romance between Nick and Miranda, and the potential fall-out as Miranda’s past comes looking for a second chance by taking aim at the King family dynasty.

Miranda Collins has a love-hate relationship with Nicholas King, a relationship destroyed by a case of mistaken belief, and a perception of unrequited love. Working directly under our story line hero forces all of the old feelings front and center, especially when Nick organizes a employee weekend, that is about to pull the couple into a potential disaster that will quickly get out of control. Nick wants Miranda Collins, and making a play for his new vice-president means admitting his heart has always wanted our story line heroine but the yin and yang of their personal relationship is fraught with sexual tension and barely controlled tension and anxiety. The $ex scenes are passionate and intimate without the use of over the top, sexually graphic language and text.

The secondary and supporting characters are colorful and fun. Reporter Max Frost is looking for some dirt on the King Brother’s empire. We are reintroduced to Nick’s twin brothers Rich and his wife Kira; Cade and Iris, and Cade’s son Bear; as well as their parents Harper and Edna King. Miranda’s ex boyfriend Robbie is determined to pull Miranda back into his life even if it means using every game necessary to destroy the man with whom she has fallen in love.

ANYONE BUT NICK is a story of family and friendships; betrayal and revenge. The premise is fast paced and entertaining; the romance is seductive and captivating; the characters are energetic, and real-the witty banter and child-like humor of Cade King is alone, worth the price of admission to Anyone But Nick.

Reading Order and Previous Reviews
Anyone but Rich
Anyone but Cade

Copy supplied by Netgalley

Reviewed by Sandy

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ANYONE BUT CADE (Anyone But…#2) by Penelope Bloom-a review

ANYONE BUT CADE (Anyone But …#2) by Penelope Bloom-a review

Amazon.com / Amazon.ca / B&N / Chapters Indigo / Google Play

ABOUT THE BOOK: Release Date November 12, 2019.

After Cade King cost me everything, I vowed I’d never fall for him again—even if he became rich and megafamous.
Go figure.
Now Cade is back with his billion-dollar company…and his ability to radiate attraction like a tempting Wi-Fi hotspot. Not to mention his tendency to have worse impulse control than a chimpanzee.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it a little when I arrested him for disorderly conduct. Unfortunately, I think Cade liked it a little too. So when he asks for my help, I know exactly what I should say. But something’s fried the circuits in my brain. It doesn’t help that I can practically feel my ovaries humming to life just from standing within fifty yards of him. The bastard.
Still, Cade doesn’t know the first thing about commitment. He lives completely in the moment. I’d need to have a recurring case of amnesia to believe he could change. I guess only time will tell which one of us is the real fool in the end.

••••••••••••••

REVIEW: ANYONE BUT CADE is the second instalment in Penelope Bloom’s contemporary, adult ANYONE BUT… romance series focusing on the King brothers: twins Rich and Cade, and younger brother Nick. This is twenty-five year old billionaire tech businessman Cade King, and police officer Iris Rosewood. ANYONE BUT CADE can be read as a stand alone without any difficulty. Any important information is revealed where necessary.

SOME BACKGROUND: Seven years earlier high school friends Miranda, Kira and Iris made a promise to never date the King brothers in response to heartbreak, secret and lies that spiralled out of control. Fast forward to present day wherein the King brothers have returned to their hometown of West Valley, North Carolina in an effort to upstart a new division in their billion dollar high tech industry.

Told from dual first person perspectives (Iris and Cade) ANYONE BUT CADE follows the rebuilding relationship between billionaire tech businessman Cade King, and police officer Iris Rosewood. Seven years earlier Cade King destroyed any hopes for a future with Iris Rosewood when he shattered Iris’ chances at a scholarship in retaliation for Iris breaking his heart. Fast forward to present day and the King brothers have returned to West Valley, North Carolina, in an attempt to upstart their billion dollar tech industry. Shocking news from his past sends Cade into a tailspin landing him face to face with the woman he has never stopped loving. Enter police officer Iris Rosewood. What ensues is the rebuilding romance and relationship between Iris and Case, and the potential fall-out as people behind the scenes set out to destroy their second chance romance.

Cade King made a terrible mistake the day he destroyed Iris’ future and no amount of grovelling would make up for what happened but his past is about to catch up and he is desperate for help, including help from the woman that would become his present and his future. Iris Rosewood never forgot about the horrible day when everything fell apart but a second chance with Cade meant more than anything she could have ever imagined.

The relationship between Cade and Iris is one of second chances: a rekindling romance between two people destroyed by mischief, mistakes, and childhood pranks. The $ex scenes are intimate and passionate, without the use of over the top, sexually graphic language and text.

We are reintroduced to Cade’s twin brother Rich and his wife Kira; their youngest brother Nick, as well as their manipulative and controlling parents Harper and Edna King; Iris’ father, and her police partner Billy, and precocious Bear.

ANYONE BUT CADE is a story of family, friendship, second chances and love; a story of secrets and lies, power and control. The premise is engaging and revealing; the characters are colorful, energetic and dynamic; the romance is seductive, captivating and hot.

Click HERE for Sandy’s review of book one ANYONE BUT RICH

Copy supplied BY NETGALLEY

Reviewed by Sandy

Penelope Bloom is a USA Today, Amazon, and Washington Post bestselling author whose books have been translated into seven languages. Her popular romances include His Banana, Her Cherry, Savage, and Punished.

Her writing career started when she left her job as a high school teacher to pursue her dream. She loves taking her imagination for a spin and writing romances she’d want to live. She likes a man with a mind as dirty as sin and a heart of gold he keeps hidden away. Her favorite things include getting to wear socks all day—pants optional—and being a positive example for her girls. Showing her daughters that no dream is too big, no matter what anyone tells them, is worth all the late nights, doubts, and fears that come with being a writer.

Stay connected! For giveaways, goodies, updates, and extras, join the mailing list at https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/a0y7m1. Follow her on Facebook at PenelopeBloomRomance, and check out her website at www.penelope-bloom.com.

Social Media Links

Websitehttps://www.penelope-bloom.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeBloomRomance
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15928382.Penelope_Bloom

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Anyone but Rich by Penelope Bloom-Review, Excerpt & Giveaway Tour

Anyone but Rich by Penelope Bloom-Review, Excerpt & Giveaway Tour

ANYONE BUT RICH
Anyone But…#1
by Penelope Bloom
Release Date: September 3, 2019
Genre: adult, contemporary, romance

Amazon.com / Amazon.ca / B&N / Chapters Indigo /

ABOUT THE BOOK: Release Date September 3, 2019

Seven years ago, my best friends and I made a promise: No matter what, we would never date one of the King brothers. Even if they grew up to become megafamous, gorgeous, heart-stopping billionaires. Even if they crawled on their knees and begged for forgiveness.

But guess who just flew back into our lives in a private jet? And guess who just showed up to my job on my first day? Richard. King. Fortunately, it takes two seconds for Richard to reveal he hasn’t changed. Conceited. Cocky. Rude. Unfortunately, he’s also the kind of gorgeous that’s borderline offensive—with a jawline to make statues self-conscious and a grin that short-circuits my brain.

He’s spent years taking what he wants. I doubt he’s hungry for anything else—except me, apparently. There’s no way I’ll let him maneuver his way back into my life. My friends would never forgive me. I would never forgive me. But did I mention his jawline?

••••••••

REVIEW: ANYONE BUT RICH is the first instalment in Penelope Bloom’s contemporary, adult ANYONE BUT romance series focusing on the King brothers: twins Rich and Cade, and younger brother Nick. This is twenty-four year old billionaire tech businessman Rich King, and high school drama teacher Kira Summerland’s story line.

Told from dual first person perspectives (Rich and Kira) ANYONE BUT RICH follows the enemies to lovers/ second chance romance, of a sorts, between former high school friends twenty four year old Richard ‘Rich’ King and Kira Summerland. Seven years earlier Kira Summerland’s plans for the future were all but destroyed when Richard King interfered in Kira’s hopes and dreams. Fast forward to present day wherein Richard and his brothers Cade and Nick, have returned to their hometown of West Valley, North Carolina in an effort to upstart a new division in their billion dollar high tech industry. But first, Rich is desperate to make amends to the girl that stole his heart years before, a woman whose life, once again, is about to implode at the hands of the family King. What ensues is the rebuilding relationship and romance between Rich and Kira, and the potential fall-out as the political machine, and old money ways begin to interfere in the lives of our story line couple.

Seven years earlier, Kira Summerland and her two best friends Miranda and Iris made a pact to never date or fall in love with one of the Kings but promises made in anger and defeat are meant to be broken when the heart longs for something it should now want. Kira’s attraction to Richard is immediate and intense, and she finds herself easily forgiving our hero for past transgressions while desperately trying to avoid her best friends’ promises. Richard King and his brothers struggle with their place in the family-always about money and prestige, the King parental units will do anything to keep appearances including destroying their own children in the process.

The relationship between Rich and Kira is an enemies to lovers forbidden affair, an affair that threatens family and friendships, and promises made in the heat of the moment. The $ex scenes are passionate but mostly implied but I struggled to feel any real palpable love between our leading couple perhaps due in part to outside interference from friends, family and small-minded individuals.

We are introduced to Rich’s twin Cadwick aka Cade, and their younger brother Nick, as well as their parents Harper and Edna King; Kira’s father Mayor Summerland, and her best friends Miranda and Iris who both have a history with one of the King brothers; and Rich’s friend Stella, who has a secret of her own.

ANYONE BUT RICH is a story of betrayal and vengeance, secrets and lies, forgiveness and love. The back and forth frenetic energy between the friends, and the brothers is flirty and fun; all of the parents’ attitudes need a major adjustment in both maturity level, behavior and personality- slightly reminiscent of most YA story lines. The premise is entertaining; the romance is tender; the characters are spirited. ANYONE BUT RICH is a charming and delightful introduction to ANYONE BUT…

Copy supplied by the publisher

Reviewed by Sandy

&

 

Principal Lockett.He was shorter than most of the freshmen, but the shiny patch of bald skin on his crown and the drooping bags under his eyes meant there was no mistaking him for a student. “Just wanted to say good luck on your first day, Kira.”

“Thank you,” I said. I hoped my smile looked genuine. I’d expected to need to try very hard to make a good impression on my new boss, but from the first day of preplanning two weeks ago, it seemed like he was the one sucking up. It wasn’t the first time being the mayor’s daughter had given me some unwanted advantage. No matter how much I protested, some people in West Valley were dead set on the idea that getting in my good graces was the same as getting in my father’s good graces. Unfortunately, my objections went unnoticed, and people had never been quick to believe that favoritism wasn’t something I secretly encouraged.

So I did what I always did. I pretended I still needed to bust my ass to make a good impression. I refused to sit back and let my father be an easy pass, and I hoped for the best.

“Is everything okay?” I asked when he was still standing there with a smile plastered on his face. From the corner of my eye, I saw students start pouring into my room from the back door.

“There is just one thing. A slight hiccup, really. Nothing that you would need to worry your father about,” he said. “There’s a very influential businessman in town. He got on the phone with the right people a few minutes ago, made some very interesting promises, and . . . well . . .”

“Well, what?” My eyes were darting between Principal Lockett and my rapidly filling classroom.

“He’s apparently an old friend of yours. Said he’d like to be able to stop by today and say hello. He promised it would be quick.”

“It’s my first day,” I said slowly, hoping I wouldn’t need to explain any further.

“And you’ll do great!” Principal Lockett seemed to sense my inevitable eruption, so he ducked back into the hallway and flashed me a quick thumbs-up before the door snicked closed.

I turned my eyes toward my students and made a weak attempt to mentally rally. I can do this. They’re just children in bodies that have grown faster than their brains. They aren’t as mature as they look.

“Do you see how red her face is?” whispered a girl in the front row. I wasn’t sure if it was intentional, but I was pretty sure I would’ve been able to make out every word of the “whisper” from the parking lot.

The boy beside her smiled cruelly. “Maybe she’s PMSing.”

The girl frowned at him and slapped his arm. “That’s not how it works, you idiot.”

“What do you mean? There’s all the blood issues. Some of it must end up in their heads.”

The girl rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and gave up on him.

I cleared my throat. “I’m Miss Summerland.” I paused, swallowed, and willed my windpipe to grow a little bigger. “This is—”

The bell signaling the start of first period rang deafeningly, cutting me off and making me realize I was already showing what a rookie I was.

I cleared my throat again. “This is—”

The announcements began, instructing the students to stand for the Pledge and the anthem.

I turned my back to face the flag and pretended I didn’t hear the snickering students behind me. I also pretended I didn’t remember being a high schooler not so long ago, and how quickly I would’ve decided a teacher like me was the kind students were going to eat for breakfast.

A few minutes later, the announcements ended, and I finally turned to face the students again. “Okay. This is—”

The door to my room opened. I spun, hands balled into fists. All the frustration of the last few minutes boiled over into an embarrassingly squeaky outburst. “I would love to finish my sentence!”

And that was when I saw my visitor.

Richard King.

Distantly, I heard the excited whispers of every girl in my classroom.

“Is that him?”

“Oh my God, is my hair okay?”

“This is going on my Snapchat!”

Their voices faded into background noise as I looked at him in person for the first time in so many years.

“Please,” he said. His voice was so deep and rich I could feel it rumble through my chest. “Finish your sentence. I’ll wait.”

He knew damn well there was no way I could think about anything else with him standing there. The corner of his mouth had twitched up into the suggestion of a smirk, and his eyes were locked predatorily on me. He knew exactly what was happening to me, and he was enjoying it.

I tried to picture a normal human being in his place. I tried and failed to unsee the broad, powerful shoulders and long legs, to unmake every cruel and perfect line of his face, from the sharp jaw to the dark eyebrows and burning green eyes. His nearly black hair was cut short and neat. He wore a suit that would’ve made most men look overdressed, but he seemed perfectly at ease. Here I was with my legs spread out like I was trying not to step in a puddle, pretending I was in control. Meanwhile, Rich’s pinkie toe projected more confidence than my entire body.

I wanted him and his obnoxiously cocky pinkie toe out of my classroom and out of my life. I was perfectly happy seeing him in a dirty dream every few weeks, where he couldn’t screw up my reality any more, thank you very much.

“Out,” I said.

“That was the end of your sentence? ‘This is . . . out’?”

The students acted like his sitcom laugh track, and I already wanted to give them all detentions for being traitors.

I turned, annoyed, and gestured to my students. “This is English Four Honors.” I looked back at Richard. “Out.”

 


 

Guest Post: Meet the Kings of North Carolina with Author Penelope Bloom

Anyone But Rich is the first book of my new, three book “Anyone But…” series. Every book is a true romantic comedy and is full of moments that I hope will have you laughing out loud, if not at least breathing out a little puff of air from your nose.

Anyone But Rich follows the oldest King brother, Richard King, and his love interest, Kira Summerland. Seven years ago, the King brothers left behind a trail of scorched earth as far as Kira and her best friends, Iris and Miranda were concerned. The three women swore an oath that they’d never date the King brothers again, even if they wound up becoming mega-famous billionaires and came back on their knees, begging for forgiveness.

But that’s exactly what happened. Now, Kira isn’t so sure she’ll be able to hold herself to a vow she made seven years ago, even if breaking it could drive a rift between her and her best friends.

Rich and the King brothers are global phenomenons. Each of them takes their own, unique approach to melting hearts. Rich is the kind of guy who puts business first and relentlessly pursues his goals, even if it means ruffling feathers along the way. That’s what makes Kira so special for him. She’s the one person who can bring out a softer side of Rich, and at times, even a funny side. But Kira or not, he’s generally seen as the face of the company, and he’s easily the biggest name to ever land in a place like West Valley.

Cade is Rich’s twin brother, but the two men couldn’t be more different. Cade is a somewhat strange blend of intelligence, goofiness, and unbearable cockiness. He can turn any situation into a joke, but behind the laughs and crude comments, he still wonders if his high school crush, Iris, would ever look beyond their past.

Nick is the youngest of the trio and generally thought of as the quiet genius of the group. He’s not as in-your-face as Rich can appear, but Nick commands respect in his own way. He also has the closest relationship with Cade, partly because Nick is the only one who ever seemed up to the task of keeping his wild, older brother alive.

All in all, the three brothers are like the riders of the apocalypse, if apocalypses were caused by melted panties and broken hearts, at least.

But the King brothers all share one thing in common. Whether they’ll ever admit it or not, they all came back to West Valley for the girls they left behind. Anyone But Rich is the story of Richard King and his attempts to win the forgiveness of Kira Summerland, his old high school flame. The question for Rich is how long he can pretend forgiveness is all he wants. For Kira, it’s a question of whether she can look past the mountain’s worth of warning signs telling her to stay as far away from Rich as possible.

There are endless obstacles between the King brothers and their West Valley girls, but the King brothers aren’t the type to shy away from a challenge. They’ve just never faced one this great.

 

Penelope Bloom is a USA Today, Amazon, and Washington Post bestselling author whose books have been translated into seven languages. Her popular romances include His Banana, Her Cherry, Savage, and Punished.

Her writing career started when she left her job as a high school teacher to pursue her dream. She loves taking her imagination for a spin and writing romances she’d want to live. She likes a man with a mind as dirty as sin and a heart of gold he keeps hidden away. Her favorite things include getting to wear socks all day—pants optional—and being a positive example for her girls. Showing her daughters that no dream is too big, no matter what anyone tells them, is worth all the late nights, doubts, and fears that come with being a writer.

Stay connected! For giveaways, goodies, updates, and extras, join the mailing list at https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/a0y7m1. Follow her on Facebook at PenelopeBloomRomance, and check out her website at www.penelope-bloom.com.

Social Media Links

Website: https://www.penelope-bloom.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeBloomRomance
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