Tricia Talks

Tickle Your Fancy is one of our Themes. Since The Reading Cafe is a place we can all hang out, while we drink our coffee or sip our margaritas, the talk of everything books can lead to funny stuff when we are having fun. Since we have been enjoying this feature…It is time for the return of Tricia…..

First of all, I’d like to apologize for my absence; I have missed you all tremendously.  The Reading Café is a fabulous website and I am so glad to be back.  Why was I gone, you wonder?  My disappearing act was due to a couple of reasons.  Reason #1:  a lack of a decent internet connection.  I had dial up, which is SLOOOW.  Dial up connection speed made me crazy, so much time spent waiting, waiting, waiting…….. Reason #2:  I had major changes happen at work and I’ve spent the last few months working like crazy.  I have now paired up with AT&T’s U-verse and have fast internet and work has settled down somewhat so that means….I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaack.  🙂

I am an assistant manager at a very large financial institution.  If you are thinking, “Oh, manager.  That’s a cushy job.”  UH, NO!!   I would like to define manager in my little corner of the universe.

Webster’s dictionary defines manager as:  a) a person who conducts business or household affairs  b) a person whose work or profession is management  c) a person who directs a team.  That sounds nice, doesn’t it?  Yeah, not so much for my job.  I am the wrangler of a bunch of unruly cattle.  The babysitter at a daycare.  The mechanic, plumber, computer guru, therapist, cleaning lady, financial advisor, referee, food police, and general fixer of whatever needs fixing, whether it’s a customer, employee, hardware, software…..you get the picture.

I know what you are thinking…..that I’m exaggerating.  Sorry my fellow book readers, I am not.  On any given day I will have to repair something that is broken, remind an employee that it is not professional to eat a gigantic bear claw cinnamon roll thingy in view of our customers,  no arguing amongst each other, no cursing…..it’s exhausting.  And the questions! I get asked millions of questions all the live long day.  Tricia, Tricia, Tricia.  If I had a dollar for every time I heard my name, I’d have a lot of dollars.

I have one employee in particular that is unique to say the least.  Here are just a few of the conversations I have had with said employee over the years.  This is all true, I promise.  These conversations are in no particular order.

“Please don’t eat fried chicken at the front desk.  If you need a snack, go to the break room.”

“Make sure your piece of turtle chocolate pie is gone before we open the doors.”

“Why do you need a new keyboard?  Oh ok, because you filled yours with WD40 because the keys were sticking.  That’s a completely normal thing to do.”

“No, we cannot make all the customers leave so you can take your bra off.”

“Don’t eat your bear claw at the counter, go to the break room.”

“What is that smell? You spilled pickle juice all over the desk?  Are you kidding me?”

“What is all over the door?  Mayonnaise?  Your plastic baggie of mayo exploded all over the place!  Why do you have mayo in a plastic bag?  Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“Please don’t talk to customers about your recent colonoscopy.  When they ask how you are doing, just say you are fine and send them on their way.  They also don’t want to know about your child’s bowel movements.”

Sadly, there are more conversations that I could add, but we have to leave room for the book reviews.  Needless to say, being a manager is one crazy job, especially where I work.  So when you start to think that management is an easy job, just think of me.  I will gladly accept donations for an early retirement fund.  I’m almost afraid what my employees will do next.  Pray for me, I need all the help I can get. 🙂

Tricia